Wednesday, August 4, 2004

Does A Brazilian Laser Treatment Hurt

New

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Premiere! All thanks to the invaluable help of [info] saffron_b I designed it ALL. Oh, Alan ...

And to give consistency to post a list of topics about Mary-Sues.


Here is a list of features of the Mary-Sues in Harry Potter I did long ago, only revised. Just to say that everything, everything I've got reading fanfics. I do not invent anything.

01. The Sorting Hat takes a thousand years to choose home to turn Mary-Sue, and meanwhile is telling the girl wonders and its predecessors. His predecessors are always very honorable, respected and mostly related to the French aristocracy. CASI many calling in Slytherin, but always end up praying and not end up in Gryffindor.

02. Many of the Mary-Sues in office is starting Hogwarts at eleven like everyone else, but come from trade-to fourteen or fifteen years from more "exotic", which makes the school is to revolutionize its presence. Many come from Beauxbatons, therefore part of the French aristocracy and oh! Also Veela blood lead. Those who did not come from Latin America.

03. Obviously, the Mary-Sue on duty is always beautiful and very clever, and often go to Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, Slytherin ever, there are only the ugly and the bad, and not a Hufflepuff, there are losers XD.

04. If the above was a Slytherin, Evanescence-style dress and have a permanent rictus to Avril Lavigne. Take piercings, combat boots, fishnet stockings and very short black skirts. Still, the author point out his ... elegance.

05. The Mary-Sue will NEVER turn brown eyes - God, that vulgarity! - Will always be light brown, green or blue always reflections of other colors.

06. The Mary-Sue in turn often have blond hair, voluminous, curly, or maybe black, very long and smooth. In both cases BEAUTIFUL. If the author is not convinced that it will bring unmatched beauty to your Mary-Sue, you can always try to beat the hair of Fleur Delacour Gloss of other colors like silver, lilac, pink or gold. Never dyes, all natural.

07. The names of Mary-Sue are always strange and exotic. Elvish names above, angelic or anyone who appears, ie ending in-el. The modern names is also rife, especially those that sound like Yankee and always ALWAYS have nicknames.

08. Mary-Sues The shift always have something in them that refers to her lover, to prove that his love is marked by the destination. An example is that a Mary-Sue Orion or last name is Moon.

09. Most of them are between two love affairs. That is, Mary-Sue has already made her favorite book character and another character are interested in it. The rest of the script which is to decide to stay.

10 If your favorite character of the author [destined to be the love of a Mary-Sue] dies, resurrect him, denying his death and inventing grotesque ways you could have been saved from death irrefutable.

11. The more traumatized, lonely and mysterious is the character, Mary-Sues over will go for it. Snape is the most common prey for the Mary-Sue's turn.

12. Tendency to try to fox down to the original characters from the books, simply because they hinder, as Cho Chang and Fleur Delacour [cayéndote curiously just wrong in the original books "Rowling will read fanfics?].

13. The Mary-Sue in love with Remus Lupin is always excellent and sacrificadísima. Will not mind the love of his life is transformed into a murderous beast once a month, and seems not to be aware that this defect has to make a dent in force in sexual ability of the "wolf." During the changes will be behind the door, supported to it, suffering for Remus. Sleep there and in the morning will take you to bed, where he will sleep curled.

14. The Mary-Sue in love with Severus Snape will be very bad in potions. Sometimes even be Gryffindor. Moreover, it is so clumsy that Snape compare it to Neville, but unlike it, will make tutorials.

15. The Mary-Sues never have a normal past. The Mary-Sues have suffered greatly. The Mary-Sues have been even more so than Harry Potter.

16. The Mary-Sues usually carry and aristocratic blood, genes of centaur, phoenix, in Veela, from "Voldi" from "Dumbi" ... anything, provided that they are THE MOST.

17. As the vast majority of Mary-Sues are good and heroic trio become friends marvel, yet even when some in Slytherin. It then creates the wonderful quartet [or quintet wonder if Mary-Sue has a friend or another friend Gary Stu Mary-Sue]. The Mary-Sue's turn ... :

- Hermione befriends list because it is equal.

- befriends Harry is not afraid to tell because the name of Voldemort, so Harry admires and treats it as an equal [especially because Mary-Sue has been equal to or more than Harry Potter]

- makes friends with Ron because she is generous and very playful and get help to red Hermione's love.

- And in general, greatly admires the trio when the train to Hogwarts, after having appeared before the trio entering his cab, saying the name ...

"I can sit here? Is that everything is full."

... Draco Malfoy appears and Mary-Sue gets shut his mouth with his clever tongue.

18. The Mary-Sue always call at the infirmary. It is essential that you are convalescing, vulnerable and weak in the table to go to visit her lover. Pomfrey never has the same importance as in the fanfics.

19. In most fanfics dealing with an entire year at Hogwarts, quiet and glad we sigh for poor Harry, for once a year goes smoothly, as they do suffer the Mary-Sue.

20. The Mary-Sues in the world of fanfic, could be equated with illegitimate children of a playboy. Always appears Voldi daughter there.

21. When no one Dumbi granddaughter, a niece of Sirius, a daughter of Remus [with its corresponding mother Mary-Sue], a great-nephew of Draco [is from the future] or a pair of twin daughters Olsen sisters style. .. Harry and Severus.

22. If you are outgoing, and have dazzled everybody personality manga girls [in part by the authors themselves fans of the manga] and if they are closed will have a style and Gothic style tormented Sandman or as we said, Evanescense.

23. If the Mary-Sue studied at age of marauding always fought with them, especially with Sirius. A Remus will have you as a friend [who can love in secret], James will not do if [it is irrefutable that he is dead and over loved Lily, not a Mary-Sue can fight against it] and Peter ... Who is Peter?

24. If for some reason the author wants to put your fanfic Peter Pettigrew in the shrewd and intelligent Mary-Sue when they discover he is not clean wheat ... before the same Peter.

25. In the same way that a Mary-Sue never doubt the innocence of Sirius Black.

26. If you have foreign powers, they have been acquired lands and faraway places. East can be magic, talking to trees ...

27. Similarly, a Mary-Sue always has some special gift acquired from birth Parseltongue innately-talk, do magic without a wand ... Harry Potter role steal ...-.

28. Partying is a boarding school. When Mary-Sues are always dancing.

29. Returning to the original characters. The Remus Lupin love can be.

- Cute expert on medicinal herbs and potions that will help the "wolf" to cope better with their terrible wrong.

- Cute young girls like illness Remus with the "wolf" is sentirá identificado.

- Amigas íntimas por las que él suspira, pero que están demasiado lejos de su alcance, por ser simplemente PERFECTAS. Pero es justamente esa perfección, sobretodo en espíritu, que hace que la Mary-Sue de turno se enamore completamente de Remus [aunque la mayoría de las veces la Mary-Sue sufrirá por otros hombres [sobretodo Sirius] hasta descubrir en Remus a su amor leal e ideal]

30. La Mary-Sue de turno es capaz de hacer que el mujeriego Black deje de perseguir a las chicas, haciendo que siente la cabeza al instante solo verla. Si no hubiera ido a Azkaban, se hubieran casado. Bueno, hay fanfics en los que ni siquiera va a Azkaban.

31. Draco Montesco siempre se enamora de Mary-Sue Capulet. And much much much suffering.

32. Even Voldi is Mary-Sue. She is always good, and Voldi remembered as the only hope was to follow the right path and done it all away!

33. No matter how sympathetic, courageous, good-natured to be Charlie. No matter how funky they may seem Durmstrang students, and how fascinating it can be a Death Eater. Never will Mary-Sue. Mysteries of life. But I can not believe it has not yet found any fanfic about a Mary-Sue centaury beautiful and good in love with Florence.

34. The Mary-Sue will always have a very handsome best friend [Gary Stu] to ever be raised by a loving relationship. Theirs is friendship incorruptible. But obviously the Gary Stu have great success among females.

35. The Mary-Sue will always have a close friend Mary-Sue, which can be in love with another character in the books. Among them will be called by their nicknames and are very modern and sleepers. If you study in time of the marauders form a kind of pert-like little group of four young but girls, and will fight with them.

36. The Mary-Sue also could not have friends, and spend the day wandering lonely as the fanfic is transformed into a songfic of anonymous love Evanescense and watches from afar.

37. Whether you have 15 years. A Mary-Sue is always good. It will appear to tell a girl of 22 who seem to have 18.

38. Actresses or singers most likely to be the image of a Mary-Sue in a RPG Yankee home often and seem straight out of the series "Popular" [which currently airs The 2 in the morning] and the photos always appear maquilladísimas dressed in everything but school uniforms, and putting Lips.

39. The owl of a Mary-Sue will never be chestnut. Black, white or fuchsia, but Brown has no place in the world of Mary-Sue.

40. Ironically, despite being very fashion girls and have some much money, never have Firebolt, not even a Nimbus 2000. Most have not Sweepers!

41. The vacant position of Defense Against the Dark Arts is always likely to be occupied by a Mary-Sue [as Umbridge was a revenge of Rowling] always make an appearance at the banquet when they are all seated and can walk among the tables as if was on a catwalk. Will at that time when.

- Students marvel and fall in love ["Ron told Harry it was the most beautiful woman he had never seen, causing Hermione gave him a nudge"]

- The author describes the Mary-Sue ["His jet black hair Acquiring shining bluish to dark reflection of the sunset reflected on the ceiling, its tight violet dress hinted his sexy ways ..."]

- Professor Remus Lupin and Professor Severus Snape, depending on the fanfic, women look shocked and feel that is:

1. A lost love.

2. An enemy school times.

3. The woman who never had and loved in secret.

4. Love at first sight to find so beautiful stranger.

42. If Mary-Sue as we say, a teacher, will be the best students have never had [with Lupin]. She cares about Harry and even give you special classes of Defense. spells will always be very complicated and extremely difficult to perform.

43. That will give opportunity to the Mary-Sue able to agree more with his love. If this is Severus Snape, the sexual tension will come under the form of professional rivalry.

44. The Mary-Sues are licensed and fascinating work. Although not all are Aurors if you all want to save the world [under the Mary-Sues Evanescense, who spend their life in the shadows "], because they are very upright and incorruptible principles.

45. Dumbledore LOVES all Mary-Sues and WISH they get the love of his life. If the Mary-Sue is 16 and is in love with Severus Snape does not care, Severus needs love ...

46. Andromeda Black is not alone. Most of Mary-Sues are born into families Eaters Voldi good and hate. Then Therefore there is nothing to worry about right?

47. Tendency to do crossovers with other sagas of books, preferably a Dragonlance and Lord of the Rings. Hogwarts appear in descendants of Mary-Sues Istari elves, elves Galadhrim ... or have anything to do with them as they are the only hope of his people and such ...

"That is so beautiful!" Ron

always exclaims when he discovers the secret genetic shift Mary-Sue.

48. They are always able to be Animagi. If they are not is because they do not want. Animals typically become precious. Bambi shakes.

49. You never see any study, but always take very good notes.

50. Although they are all bright and are perfectly capable of saving the world, you are a complete useless in the plot [though it seems that no]. Action and adventure are boring to write, so the Mary-Sues are limited to the adventure of love. How much sacrifice heroically cruciatus intercepting an end in nursing, they are found the love of his life and ends its mission.

51. The authors have not read Sophocles or Euripides, but many of its shares reach fanfics Greek tragedy. There are Mary-Sues raped cruciatus based chips, alone after losing a love and suffering for other ... and I'm talking about a very Mary-Sue. Because a Mary-Sue has been even more so than Harry Potter.

52. Always have some ID and only have THEM. A talking snake, tattoos and piercings [especially if it is a Mary-Sue Evanescense], an invisible layer longer and wider than Harry Potter, a wand that is out [with content such as Gorgon hair, thread mantle of nazgul, unique piece of ring tab Lorenzo de Medici, to say something]

53. They are so, so modern, they know all of the Muggle world. Discman listening, playing Playstation, have messenger and mobile, are heated in the microwave popcorn and dance music muggle [Britney Spears and the like] in local muggle too modern for a magician. Some even know how to dance Hip-Hop.

54. The clothing is always vital for a Bratz ... say for a Mary-Sue. Whether you go to Hogwarts uniform, at the least excuse the Mary-Sue will wear their outfits ends. She will always look different but elegant, though the taste of the author is bad. You will spend whole paragraphs describing every detail of everything that takes place.

55. You can not get pregnant, take a potion and fixed the problem. What question? How the morning-after potion?

56. The Mary-Sue will always be good at Quidditch. Before it was always seeker. Now, as the authors are aware that all Mary-Sues are seekers, hunters proliferate. Whatever they are, always are great, although the parties never come fanfics or training. The game of love is always more exciting.

57. They have many contacts and highlights always know where they are. If the Mary-Sue comes from Durmstrang, Viktor Krum knew, if it comes from Beauxbatons was a misfit because the French, led by Fleur, fell ill and were all about bitches, if you really like the Quidditch can get the signature of more megaguay Quidditch player in the world.

58. Due to the impossibility of knowing invent a Quidditch team, the Mary-Sue will almost always be a staunch supporter of the Chudley Cannons.

59. The Mary-Sue is never wrong. Never really is a consistent enough pattern to make a mistake on something, and often simply let go.

60. And finally, I will espoliaros the end of the Harry Potter saga. Harry Potter

was not Voldemort who killed ...

was a Mary-Sue! I've seen

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